Cue the champagne, the fireworks, the midnight kiss, the confetti, the banging, clanging noise makers, the cheers and well wishes for a new year – twelve months stretched out before us, filled to the brim with endless possibility.

How will we remember 2009? Will it be remarkable? Will it leave a mark on the pages of history? Or will it pass us by quietly? Just another moment in time that will eventually fade from our memories?

Not a single one of us can tell. Standing at the edge of a new year – we cannot see what lies before us – we cannot tell what the future holds.

It’s exciting and thrilling and absolutely terrifying.

Because life is unpredictable. As much as we attempt to plan and schedule – filling the lines in our calendars and BlackBerrys with appointments and practices and meetings and recitals and games and on and on and on – life happens. Time and space and God and the great expanse of the universe do not account for our plans.

Life is filled to the brim with starts and stops and ups and downs and backwards and forwards and insides and outs and all things random and chaotic and contradictory.

There are moments of complete and utter bliss, mountain-top moments that fill our hearts, our minds, our bodies with this overwhelming joy and laughter and contentment. Moments when the sun is shining and the birds are singing and it’s all one big cliché but absolutely nothing, nothing can go wrong.

But then things do go wrong. And there are tears. And heartbreaks. And death and suffering and pain and misunderstanding and ignorance. Moments of total and absolute tragedy and loss and humiliation and loneliness.

All these heartaches and joys leap-frog each other, dance around each other, mix and meld into each other until life is this great, big, jumbled mess. It’s strange and awkward and entirely beyond human understanding.

We search for answers.  For the why and the how and the what. Constantly questioning and pondering and wondering the meaning of all of this – this strange thing we call “life”. And oh so rarely do we actually find the answers we seek. More often than not it seems that we are left empty handed – even more befuddled about this mixed up, crazy world.

But you know what? Maybe that’s okay. Maybe – as we are all in the midst of our own little grail quest – the search for the meaning of life – the actual finding isn’t the important part. It’s the quest itself. The journey. The people we meet. The questions we ask. The adventures and mishaps along the way that make it all worth the travels.

Life is not just a beginning or an ending. It’s an entire story. My story. Your story. Our story. Each full of tragedy and comedy and romance and unexplained mysteries – hundreds of chapters and countless characters. Pages and pages ahead of us unwritten.

And so, at the beginning of this new year, I wish you all safe and happy travels through the next twelve months, through all of life. May your story be wonderfully unpredictable.

Come what may.

The house is darkened, silent and still – save for the quiet, almost imperceptible shuffle of little feet along the carpet, the occasional giggle and “shushhhhhh.”

Three little faces materialize around the corner of the hallway and peer – with delicious anticipation – into the living room. There is a gasp and a clapping of hands at the sight which befalls them.

The Christmas tree, standing so tall and serene in front of the large bay window, is surrounded by presents, an impossible number of presents. The stockings hung over the chimney are full to the brim with goodies and nearby on the table there is a half-empty glass of milk and a plate of scattered cookie crumbs.

The little girls run happily back to their beds, shaking with excitement for the hour when they can finally leap onto their parents’ bed, squealing and shouting with glee –

“Santa came! Santa came!”

The same joyous cry will be heard throughout all parts of the world this morning, just as it has been heard for hundreds of years, just as it will continue to be heard for hundreds of years to come…

That particular Christmas Day was seventeen years ago.

I was seven years old.

In the years since that morning, my sisters and I have grown older, taller and wiser. We have been laden with the burdens of school and friends and work and bills and the endless sea of responsibility that comes from growing up and entering adulthood…

And still, without fail, as the holiday season approaches, as decorations appear in store fronts and the radio waves are filled with Jingle Bells, as Charlie Brown and Rudolph and Frosty make their annual appearances on our television screens – we once again become those little girls, all wide-eyed and filled with eager anticipation as the season swirls around us in this breathtaking cacophony of lights and sounds and tastes…

…pine trees, stockings full of toys, sugar cookies, bells, annoying commercials, a neighborhood street lined with twinkling lights, nativity scenes, twenty-four hours of A Christmas Story on TBS, the comfort of curling up in front of the fireplace under a warm blanket, mistletoe, carols, lying under the Christmas tree, Poinsettias, finding that perfect gift for a loved one, holiday parties, candy canes…

Peace. Love. Joy.

It is as if something in the holiday air, some wonderfully marvelous mixture of peppermint and gingerbread and hot chocolate, wipes away all those years  – all those reasons that make it so hard to just believe in magic and Santa Claus and his eight flying reindeer. It is easy again. Uncomplicated. Simple.

Of course the world is filled with magic. It’s waiting to surprise us at every corner. Sneaking up on us and tapping us on the shoulder and prompting us into joyous bursts of laughter and childlike astonishment.

And of course. Of course there is a Santa Claus.

There always will be. There always has been.

I never ever want to lose the possibilities of this belief, my overwhelming love of Christmas, the excitement that comes at seeing those first signs of the season.

And I hope, I pray, that everyone this season – no matter your beliefs, no matter the holiday which you celebrate, whether you are seven or seventy-six – that you find something to believe in this holiday season, something to once again fill you with innocent wonder.

So, in parting, I have a confession to make.

Promise you won’t laugh?

Okay, here it is – I’m twenty-four years old and I still lie awake on Christmas Eve Night and listen – hope for that distinct sound of sleigh bells up on the rooftop.

And here’s the real crazy part – sometimes I’ll hear something off in the distance, the faint ringing of a bell and my heart will leap and maybe… maybe… maybe…

“Santa came! Santa came!”

I love finding just the right song for a moment. I love when a moment is defined by a piece of music. Perhaps it’s why I love movie soundtracks so much. The right song can just make everything… fit.

So here are my Sounds of Fall. The music that has defined and defines the past few months of my life. Enjoy.

            1. Heart Songs – Weezer

The following songs are my “heart songs” for the past few months. I’ve tried to arrange them into my own little “rock opera.” There is a story, I just don’t know if it makes a whole lot of sense to anyone but me. We shall see…

2. Better Together – Jack Johnson

This is the song that played during the Bridesmaid’s Processional at the wedding I was in recently. It was perfect for the beach. It was also disgustingly perfect enough to make me want to drink myself into a silly stupor and dance my ass off to the YMCA. Ahhh weddings.

3. Oviedo – Blind Pilot

I was just introduced to this band. They remind me a little of a mix between The Shins and Iron and Wine. I like the verse about “things left unsaid.” All the liquid courage in the world and STILL things are left unknown and unsaid and unexplained. It’s obnoxious. The uncertainty kills me.

4. The Guy That Says Goodbye to You Is Out of His Mind – Griffin House

Heck yeah he is! Moron.

5. Fred Jones, Part 2 – Ben Folds

No matter how much of your heart you put into something, sometimes you just don’t get anything back. And that sucks. A lot. I gave a little bit of my soul to my old job and it ended up throwing me out to the curb like I was nothing. Nice. You’re welcome… Oh, and Ben Folds writes pretty songs.

6. Shape of My Heart – Noah and the Whale

And unfortunately, after getting your heart broken, all you want to do is build up walls to keep it from ever happening again.

7. Dead Man (Carry Me) – Jars of Clay

I want to start over and be a different person but it’s just so damn hard. Can’t someone just come by and give me all the answers and make all the changes for me? Why do I have to do it all? It’s exhausting. And a little painful.

8. Let That Be Enough – Switchfoot

Okay, so life can be kind of crappy and maybe I don’t know where I’m going but there are some solid people in my life that will always have my back and be there with hugs laughter and words of encouragement. And sometimes that has to be enough.

9. Chaos – Mute Math

As one of my friends always says, “God has a reason and a purpose and it serves us.” Sometimes life is chaos but there’s a plan, there’s a reason and sometimes we just have to let go and let things happen. And this song is rockin’.

10. Peace of Mind – Boston

The obligatory 80’s song and my current text message ring tone. There’s nothing quite as powerful as an 80’s rock ballad. I get so exhausted with all this thinking and thinking and endless, endless thinking. Sometimes I just want a little peace of mind, a little clarity. Stupid indecision. Always, always back to the indecision.

11. Do You Realize – The Flaming Lips

Not everything is as it seems. Life isn’t all just black and white and up and down. It’s all just one big area of gray and we’re given what we’re given and that’s… life.

12. Here I Go Again – Whitesnake

Well, here I go again. Moving on and moving up. On my own. And you know what? I am SO okay with that. I like my independence. I like being able to come home and make what I want for dinner and run around my apartment naked without having to answer to anyone. Yes, I realize this is another 80’s song. But if you’re going to run around naked in your apartment, it better be to an awesome 80’s song.

13. So What – Pink

Sometimes I just want to go crazy and slap someone in the face or ride a lawnmower down the street while drunk off my ass.

14. Rock & Roll – Eric Hutchinson

Okay, so maybe I don’t have to do EVERYTHING by myself. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship? That’s okay. I don’t either. But we can still have a little bit of fun together. Nothing to lose.

15. Brand New Day – Joshua Radin

I say it all the time but I’m looking at life with a brand new outlook. It’s a brand new day. And what better way to start a new day than with Joshua Radin? He has one of the most soothingly beautiful voices.

16. Things Are What You Make of Them – Bishop Allen

Sure, sometimes life isn’t the way we pictured it but isn’t that what makes it worthwhile? If we could perfectly plan and anticipate the major bumps in the road then it would just be boring. Life is a mess but it’s a beautiful mess and it’s a lot of fun to just be surprised by the little twists and turns along the way.

17. Beautiful – Smashing Pumpkins

Of course, there will always exist the idea of finding that right guy and my own love story. Someday, someday… And is it weird that I would totally walk down the aisle to this song? Smashing Pumpkins at a wedding? Could be interesting.

Things for which I am Thankful

In the Year 2008

1. The ability to laugh at my shortfalls, mistakes and fumbles. Life is too brief to take too seriously and there is nothing more healing than a deep, rumbling belly laugh and the knowledge that “the sun doesn’t set – it’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round.”

2. A new job, a new opportunity and fun new co-workers.

3. Good books and the chance to get lost in another time and place.

4. Long and lazy Saturdays, bubble baths, walks on the beach, early morning stillness and any moment to just “be.”

5. Forgiveness, Grace, Passion and Change.

6. Rainy days, sunny days and in-between whatever days.

7. Parents who have taught me open-mindedness, tolerance and compassion.

8. New friendships, old friendships, strengthened friendships, shoulders to cry on, drunken 2 a.m. text messages, wine nights and silliness, Mexican Mondays, lunch dates, chocolate, and all the “devils” and “angels” who have poked and prodded and listened and advised and brought me more laughter and fun than I ever thought possible.

9. The loving and blessed new marriages of Lindsey and Avri.

10. A place to call my own.

11. Nervous butterflies, soft kisses and strong arms.

12. The ever-present strength of my grandparents, fond and affectionate memories, warm hugs and twenty-hour roadtrips.

13. The safe and healthy birth of Lola-Gessiani.

14. Dreams, imaginings and nonsensical thoughts.

15. Love – even when it’s not so easily and readily returned, even when it hurts, even when it seems futile or fruitless. It can never be a mistake to Love.    

Always, always find something to be grateful for in this world. There are so many blessings all around us, we just have to remember to keep our eyes and minds open to the possibilities.

In gratitude,

Shannon

47 days before Christmas. That’s over a month people.

And yet, I’m almost positive that I just overheard the faint strains of Jingle Bells as I was strolling through the aisles of Target.

What’s that all about?

Okay, sure, I’m a fan of the holiday season as much as anyone. In fact I’m pretty much in love with the holiday season. Carol singing, gift buying, the spicy sweet smell of gingerbread, Charlie Brown’s pathetic little tree, warm fires crackling in the hearth, families reunited with laughter and food – these all have the ability to turn me into a wide-eyed little girl again, all giddy with the prospect of presents and my mom’s homemade mashed potatoes.

But I think we’re forgetting something here. Before the Jingle Bells, before the last minute shopping frenzy, before the stockings are hung by the chimney with care…

That’s right. Thanksgiving – the forgotten middle child of the holiday season. Consistently overshadowed by perfect, overachieving sister Christmas and zany, quirky little brother Halloween.

Because sure, it’s nice to sit around and watch football and stuff ourselves silly with food but let’s face it, we’re Americans – it’s not much of a deviation from our normal lives. So we may find ourselves thinking – what’s the big deal?

On Thanksgiving you can’t dress up like SpongeBob and ring your neighbor’s doorbell to ask for candy – or you can – but you can pretty much guarantee that your neighbor’s going to be giving you some funny looks for while.

There’s no exchanging of gifts – no Thanksgiving Carols – no great big jolly man in a big red suit with a sack full of toys.

Thanksgiving, and the whole month of November really, just continues to pass by quietly, in its unobtrusive pumpkin pie sweet kind of way as children all over the world start the countdown to the holidays that really matter.

Well, this year I’m taking a stand for Thanksgiving.

For the Pilgrims. For cranberry farmers and football lovers and airport personnel and tryptophan lovers across the country.

This year let’s remember Thanksgiving. For more than just the great sales and the long lines that it’s evil twin “Black Friday” brings in her wake.

Let’s take the time to turn off the cell phones, sit down with our families and just enjoy the presence of human company, of laughter around the dinner table, of the clang and clatter of forks and knives and fancy china.

I know you’ve got it in you – there’s a reason that millions of Americans will be taking to the roads and skies over the next few weeks. The greeting card companies and department stores may have forgotten but we haven’t. Inside every one of us there lies a need to be surrounded by friends and family, to watch Uncle Ted and Aunt Lillian fight over the last of the yams and to eat more turkey than humanly possible or necessary.

So forget for a moment about the stresses and trials of life. Take a deep breath. Relax. Enjoy your day off. Cheer for your team. Watch a parade. Eat. Eat. Eat.

And don’t forget to give some thanks for all we have been blessed with.

Happy Thanksgiving to All.

Love,

Shannon

The day stretched on and on but FINALLY, at 5:00 I raced home and ran straight for the television, where I remained riveted for the next rest of the night.

Pennsylvania had just been called for Obama but I could not, would not let my hopes up. Anything was still possible.

When Ohio was called for Barack Obama, I started really doing the math in my head – with the 77 electoral votes of California, Oregon and Washington… wait…

He’s actually going to win this thing isn’t he?

And suddenly, all that cautious optimism slipped away and I couldn’t help but jump up and down the room in giddiness. FINALLY, FINALLY I was letting myself believe. For so long I had been trying to warn myself against the same kind of crushing blow I felt four years ago.

But when Ohio was called… everything changed.

Does this all sound a little extreme? Maybe. But in that moment it was just overwhelming. And you could see that the hosts and pundits on MSNBC felt the same way. They knew what we did not yet and they began really talking about what it all MEANT, about how big this moment was and everything just began to get a little fuzzy and high pitched and then…

… at 8:00pm Keith Olbermann announced the words: “President-Elect Barack Obama.”

The world changed. And I burst into tears.

After such a long campaign and primary and election season, the man I believe can really turn this country around, is ACTUALLY going to be the next president. A year of anxiously watching speeches and polls caught up with me and just FLOORED me.

And not just that, not just this campaign, but over TWO HUNDRED YEARS of this country’s rocky racial history… can you believe it?

The tears of Jesse Jackson, Oprah Winfrey, Eugene Robinson and John Lewis said it more eloquently than I ever could.

I am so proud to be an American. So proud of those who voted in record numbers. So proud of those who looked past skin color and put this country first. So proud to be part of this moment in history.

Of course, it’s been brought to my attention that not everyone is pleased with the results of this election. After such a hard fought election, this is bound to be the case and for those McCain supporters out there, you DO have my condolences. He’s a good man and he would have made a fine president.

But for those who seemto be racked by fear in the wake of this outcome, you have my…. well, condolences. I can’t possibly understand the reasoning behind believing that Barack Obama is a person to fear, a person that hates this country, a person that will bring terror upon this country -it doesn’t make sense. What’s the basis of this rationale? Because, it’s certainly NOT rationality.

So for those of you that feel this way, I’m sorry. You’ve missed out on an amazing moment in history. Perhaps in time you will find a way to move past ignorance and intolerance and Fox News. Open your hearts, open your minds and you’ll be amazed at the world that will appear to you. The diversity of this country and this world is really quite beautiful. Embrace it.

Embrace this moment.

Because, oh what a moment. What a beautiful, overwhelming, historical moment.

We don’t know what kind of president Barack Obama will turn into, we do not yet know what the next four or eight years will hold but I pray for change. I pray for the betterment of this country. I pray for unity. I pray for good will and grace and peace.

I pray for the President-Elect Barack Obama.

God Bless America.

P.S. As proud as I am of this country for voting Obama for president, I cannot begin to express my disappointment in the passing of measures in Florida, California and Arizona to ban gay marriage. I do hope there comes a day when we can move past the prejudices that hamper true growth and progression.

It’s time

After months and months and MONTHS of campaign slogans and pundits and polling numbers and primaries and conventions and stump speeches and Tina Fey and Joe the Plumber and debates and interviews and policy speeches and endorsements and shouting “Change We Need!” or “Country First!” – Finally, it’s time.

Tomorrow we are given a choice and we are given a CHANCE.

Barack Obama or John McCain.

One of these two men will be our next president – The 44^th in a long list of distinguished and controversial and well-storied individuals. One of these men will be given a chance to mark the history books in only the way a president can.

His policies will guide this economic crisis. His decisions will determine our relationships on the international stage. His ideas and beliefs may possibly appoint a new member to the Supreme Court. His voice will be the one we hear on Inauguration Day and for the next four, or possibly eight years. His will be the face of America.

And who this man is, will be determined by YOU. ME. ALL OF US.

Of course, that is, if you get out to the polls tomorrow and vote.

VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.

I can’t stress it enough. It’s our fundamental RIGHT as Americans to determine our government. Do we even realize how special that is? We get to complain and whine and satirize and disagree and we get to CHOSE. How can we give that up? How can we turn our backs in complacency?

I know that so many people are turned off or jaded by politics or feel that somehow they are not affected by this decision but we have to stand up and use the voices we’ve been given. Throughout this country’s history, millions of people have fought to have the right to cast that single vote. Marching in the streets. Marching on Washington. Fighting tooth and nail for that singular right which makes this country so great.

Alright, so maybe I’m a little excitable about the whole thing but really, it’s a HUGE decision. I really believe that the choice we make tomorrow will change the course of the country. Whether for better or for worse is yet to be seen but that’s the chance we take in taking the chance we are given to make a choice.

Yikes, that’s a lot of words.

All I really want to say is, please vote. Look at the facts, weigh the words of the candidates, think about the issues and where you want to see this country and then make your choice. Fill in the little bubble, punch the card, pull the lever and add your voice to the millions of Americans who will CHOSE tomorrow.

Wow. Tomorrow.

Can you feel it? We’re on the verge of something great.

The first polls close in 24 hours…

I’ll see ya on the flip side America.

I mean, I thought I was addicted before, watching Countdown and the Rachel Maddow show nightly, checking fivethirtyeight.com like it’s some kind of weird compulsion… but now?

Now, I’ve just lost my fracking mind.

I CAN’T STOP.

I’m addicted to this election and it’s slowly turning me into some kind of wild-eyed loon that flips obsessively between MSNBC and CNN and becomes violent anytime anyone dares mention the idea of a social life.

So, maybe it’s not THAT bad but in the final days of the election it has finally CONSUMED me.

Which begs the question – what will I do when it’s over?

While watching the Saturday Special Edition of Countdown yesterday I began to realize just how long this had been going on and how much I was going to miss it. Watching the one-hour abbreviated version of this past year was sort of bittersweet. Like flipping through the yearbook at the end of the school year.

Oh how I will miss you Election ’08. You’ve been so good to me and provided moments of poignancy, hilarity and downright absurdity. After Tuesday night it will be all but a memory as we head our different directions. Me toward the future with a new president in tow, you toward that Great History Book in the Sky.

Know this, I’m glad I knew you and you will be missed.

But maybe now, after ten months of crazed lunacy, I will be able to turn the television off, shut down the computer and attempt to recreate some semblance of a social life…

Until 2012.

TWO MORE DAYS!

I’ve only listened to it twice but I’m already in love.

It’s absolutely stunning.

 I can’t think of a single track that I DON’T love. And the closing, sixteen-minute track Lighting Stike is… there are no words.

Oh Gary Lightfoot, you lyrical genius.

Seriously, I’m crying it’s so good.

Here in California we will be voting on Proposition 8 which will change the state constitution to declare that only marriage between a man and a woman will be valid and recognized by the state.

For weeks now we’ve been bombarded by conflicting and passionate ads and yard signs and sidewalk picketers. “Vote No on Prop. 8.” “Yes on Families.” “Protect Parental Rights.” “It’s not about intolerance.” “I can marry a princess.” “It doesn’t have anything to do with schools.” “It’s got everything to do with schools.” On and on and on…

I sort of just want this election to be done with and the ads to go away because it just makes me increasingly frustrated and disenchanted with the society in which I live.

But I have a few things to say.

Let me first preface this with a few facts about me:

I’m straight.

I’m female.

I believe in God.

I believe in the importance of family and parental rights.

And I’m voting NO on Prop 8.

Why?

First, I believe in the importance of equality for all. Our constitution guarantees rights for all people of ALL religions and creeds and backgrounds and lifestyles. Of course, many of these civil liberties have been fought for in intense movements throughout our country’s history. The thirteenth amendment abolished slavery in 1865, the fifteenth amendment prohibited the goverment from preventing a person to vote based on race, women were given the right to vote in 1920 and Martin Luther King Jr. led the Civil Rights Movement in the sixties to incredible heights. It’s been a hard fought struggle and it continues even today but we’ve been a country that progresses and stands up and fights. And we have that right! The simple fact that we are Americans gives us the right to voice dissent and strive for change and increasing equality. Denying two people who love each other the right to marry violates that equality. It’s discrimination, pure and simple.

As such, I don’t believe a religious belief about homosexuality can play any part in the government. A person might believe that it is wrong in the eyes of God but that belief can play no part in lawmaking.

Third, contrary to the ads, parental rights will not be lost. California law gives parents the right to “opt-out” of any school activities in which they do not wish their child to participate. I had a friend in elementary school who was Jehovah’s Witness. Her parent’s pulled her from any activities celebrating Thanksgiving, Christmas and such. This was always done with discretion and she never suffered any sort of persecution as a result. It was a right her parents exercised and it is a right parents can still exercise if for any reason they feel the need to pull their child from an activity.

And finally, legalized gay marriage will not threaten the marriages of millions of other happy couples. It will not threaten children, it will not lead to the breakdown of society. If it does, then there are certainly other, larger issues at work because seriously, what’s the harm? If two people love each other and want to live together and enjoy the rights of a married couple then why should we stop them? What’s so largely troubling about that?

I’ve seen so many signs about protecting the “traditional family.” But what’s “traditional” these days? A mom and a dad and two point five kids and little Fido under the dinner table? Please. We live in a day and age where both parents work and kids come home to an empty house and make themselves dinner. Some dads stay at home with their kids while mom is at work. Some kids only live with mom. Some kids only live with dad. Some kids live with grandparents or aunts or uncles or any combination of the above.

The idea of “family” is changing and I don’t think we need to fight this change. Family can extend far beyond the nuclear unit; it SHOULD extend beyond the nuclear unit. It doesn’t have to be so neat and perfect and contained. Family isn’t always about shared genes and a last name. It’s about love and support and nurturing. And let me tell you, there are plenty of children from “traditional” families that are NOT being nurtured.

Sometimes I think we hold so long and hard to our convictions that we forget what they actually MEAN.

Studies show that children benefit from close relationships with nurturing adults outside their “family.” So yes, children should have both male and female guidance in their lives but who’s to say that this guidance has to come from a mother or a father? I say, instead of fighting over what it means to be a family, we just focus on LOVING our children and just as important - loving EACH other. If we want so badly to have a moral, upstanding, “City Upon a Hill” kind of community then we need to start taking care of each other and showing a little decency. The best way to raise children who are loving is leading by example. We must love each other, we must have compassion for each other and for heaven’s sake we have to stop JUDGING each other’s every little move.

Perhaps I’m just too much of a naive optimist but I have to believe that people are basically good at heart. Black, white, man, woman, child, gay, straight, poor, rich, middle class, democrat, republican - we are all PEOPLE. And we need to start treating each other as such.

VOTE NO on 8.